


Choices

by greenho4



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 06:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18823204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenho4/pseuds/greenho4
Summary: A telling of chapter 84 of the manga from Levi's pov sorta, when he had to choose between giving Erwin or Armin the Titan fluid. Just a thing I wrote.





	Choices

“Do you two…have any idea…what you’re doing?” Levi asked slowly, clutching the box with the syringe tightly with his hand.

Eren stood in front of him, blocking his way. Mikasa was a little way to Levi’s right, glowering at him.

“We’re talking about Erwin Smith, the Commander of the Survey Corps.” Levi continued, feeling tired. He had just defeated multiple Titans on his own, and had fought the Beast Titan. He didn’t have the time or energy to deal with the two brats in front of him. “You’re telling me to sit here and let him die?”

Levi looked down at the still figure Floch had laid before him. Erwin wasn’t moving at all, but Levi could see the faint tremors of his breathing.

Eren glared at him, still refusing to back away.

“There’s no time,” Levi said urgently. “Get out of my way.”

Without warning, Eren’s hand shot forward, grasping the box and startling Levi. Luckily, he kept his grip on the box and the two tugged at the box furiously, neither backing down.

“Eren,” said Levi. “Look past your own feelings.”

“My feelings?!” Eren shouted, the familiar anger returning to his eyes. “Why did _you_ hesitate before handing over the injection?”

Levi hesitated, his gaze drawn to the mass of burnt flesh that was Armin. Levi could hear Armin’s struggled breathing, even at his distance.

“…I was considering the possibility that Erwin was alive.”

“I don’t see how you could ever have predicted that Floch would bring the dying Commander here,” Eren retorted.

“You’re right. But now that Erwin is here, we’re using it on him.”

If he had thought his logic would dissuade Eren, Levi was wrong. Instead Eren’s grip intensified, a look of desperation coming over the boy’s features.

Levi did the only thing he could do. He pulled his arm back and punched Eren in the face with such intensity that it sent the boy sprawling backwards, landing dangerously close to the edge of the roof.

There was a glare from Mikasa and Levi had no time to prepare himself before Mikasa sprang on him with her blade, her other arm aimed at his throat. Levi was thrown onto his back and Mikasa pinned him down, one hand choking him and the other holding the blade at his neck.

Levi blocked her blade arm with his free hand, and pulled his right hand away from Mikasa, who was trying to wrestle the box from him.

 “Hey!” The shout came from Floch but Levi paid him no attention, all his focus fixed on Mikasa, whose free hand now gripped Levi’s wrist, the one holding the box.

Levi could feel his hand shake and knew he was getting weaker. And he knew it was only a matter of time before Mikasa forced the box away from him.

“You must know it, too,” Levi said, trying to reason with Mikasa. “Humanity can never defeat the Titans without Erwin’s strength.”

“He’s right, Mikasa,” said Floch from the sidelines. “You need to stop acting crazy.”

Mikasa glared at him and Flock flinched, swallowing nervously.

“With…”

There was a weak voice, and Levi risked a glance. It was Eren, facedown on the roof, half his body dangling from the edge.

“Without Armin…We can’t…”

“Eren!” Mikasa cried out, seeming to notice Eren’s situation for the first time. Still, to her credit, she did not loosen her grip on Levi and Levi grimaced in frustration.

“If we don’t have Armin…we can’t win.” Eren’s voice was small and desperate. “Hasn’t that always been true…?”

Slowly, Eren shifted himself back onto the roof.

“We used that boulder to block Trost District and save it. We figured out Annie’s true identity. And came up with the plan to advance through Titan territory during the night…all thanks to Armin.”

Eren’s voice rose and Levi couldn’t tune him out even if he wanted to.

“Armin exposed Reiner when he was trying to stay hidden…and he’s the only reason we defeated Bertolt. It was all because of Armin!”

Levi was silent as he realized the truth of Eren’s statements. Still, that wasn’t enough to convince him to save Armin instead of Erwin.

 “It’s not me or the Commander who’s going to save humanity!” Eren shouted, pounding his fist on the roof. “It’s Armin! Isn’t that right, Mikasa?!”

Mikasa seemed to agree with him, her eyes filling with a new surge of purpose and conviction. She went directly for the box, her hand gripping it firmly. Levi would not budge.

“Please. Give it to me.” Mikasa’s face was fiercely determined, but Levi ground his teeth refusing to let go. No matter what reasons Eren gave, Levi knew he had to give the injection to Erwin. He was their Commander, after all, and the one who would lead them to victory against the Titans, just as he had promised all those years ago.

“The one who’ll save humanity…is Commander Erwin!” Floch interjected.

Mikasa’s blade drove even closer towards Levi’s neck, and he tensed, wishing Floch hadn’t spoken.

“Be quiet,” Mikasa snapped.

“Wha—you think I’m going to stay quiet?” Floch argued. He pointed outside the wall. “You’re not the only ones suffering here. You don’t know it yet, but there isn’t a single living soldier on the other side of that wall. The Beast Titan killed them all. He crushed rocks _through_ them. They were all smashed to a pulp. Every one of us thought we were goners, but Commander Erwin was the one exception. He figured out a plan that would let him get his teeth into that monster’s neck and carried it out.”

“He used the lives of every one of us recruits as bait,” Floch continued. “All so that Captain Levi could ambush the Beast. So, according to plan, we all ended up in pieces.”

Floch looked distraught and for a moment, Levi thought of his own comrades who had fallen.

“Gordon. Sandra. Marlowe. None of them died thinking how noble their sacrifices would be,” Floch said, his voice lowering. “I’m sure all they felt, at the end, was fear.”

Floch straightened. “When I found Commander Erwin still breathing, I was going to put him out of his misery. But then…I decided I was treating him too gently. Perhaps he did need to spend more time in this hell.”

Floch’s words rang in Levi’s head.

“And that’s when I realized. The only one who can destroy all the Titans is the Devil himself!” Floch had tears in his eyes. “And my mission is to bring the Devil back to life! That’s why, when all the others died bravely, like a coward, I lived!”

“So! Get out of my way!” Floch sprinted toward Mikasa, who lifted her blade off Levi to attack Floch.

“Stop it!” Levi shouted, his hand reaching up to stop Mikasa, but he was too late.

Mikasa surged over Levi but suddenly stopped. A pair of arms appeared and wrapped themselves around the girl, restraining her. Levi recognized the ponytail and rectangular-rim glasses.

“Hanji!” Levi exclaimed as Hanji dragged Mikasa backward, away from him. Levi noticed Jean, Connie and Sasha land on the roof near them. Their expressions were shocked as they took in the scene. Levi ignored him and got up, opening the box.

Carefully, Levi took out the needle and he heard Mikasa let out a scream. Levi couldn’t bring himself to justify his reasoning to Mikasa again.

It was Hanji who answered her.

 “Mikasa! We still need Erwin! The Survey Corps has nearly been wiped out! If the Commander dies, too…humanity will lose its symbol! We can’t allow the flames of hope to be extinguished within the walls!”

“But…Armin could do that, too.” Tears streamed down Mikasa’s face and Levi couldn’t help but think of a rainy day a few years ago, with himself in a similar position. He had kneeled in the mud, blood and tears streaking his face.

“Yes, Armin is an incredible talent…but our battle is nowhere near over yet!” Hanji said. “We still need Erwin’s experience and leadership to—”

Mikasa grabbed Hanji’s wrist tightly, trying to break the hold.

“Ugh!” Hanji winced but did not let go. Her eyes softened slightly. “…I have people…I wish I could bring back, too. Hundreds of them.” Hanji’s voice was calm, but Levi knew the pain was there. It was there for everyone in the Survey Corps, always following them. ”Ever since I joined the Survey corps…every day has brought a new farewell. But…you understand, don’t you? Everyone you meet will be parted from you one day. I know it’s difficult to accept.”

Levi looked away from them. He had had comrades once, too. His previous squad. Petra, Arluo, Gunther, Eld. And yes, even before them, there had been light blond hair and bright green eyes. Levi remembered.

“It’s hard to stay sane, living like that. It’s painful,” Hanji said. “So painful. I know that. But, even so…we need to move forward.”

Mikasa’s hand dropped and she slumped down, her eyes closed in defeat.

Levi gripped the syringe in his hand, sucking up the fluid from the bottle. He was going to save Erwin, and save all of humanity while he was at it. As he finished transferring the fluid to the needle, Levi felt a sudden grip on his leg. Startled, he looked down to see Eren, who had crawled toward him.

“Captain.” Eren’s voice was a hushed whisper. “Have you heard…of the ocean?”

Levi stilled. The ocean…?

“It’s like a gigantic lake that stretches far beyond the horizon. Not only that…apparently it’s all made out of salt water. That’s what Armin said.” Eren’s bright green eyes locked with Levi’s dull gray ones and Levi couldn’t look away.

“Hey! Stop it already!” Floch said, pulling Eren away forcefully. Eren did not resist, and there was something unsettling about a defeated Eren.

Levi kept his eyes on Eren.

“He said someday we’d go and see the ocean, on the other side of the walls.” Eren’s face mirrored Mikasa’s in hopelessness and grief. “But that…was a dream we had as little kids. I’d forgotten it a long time ago. All I had left inside me was hate, revenge for my mom, and wiping out the titans… But Armin’s different. Fighting isn’t all he has. He has dreams!”

Levi finally looked away. Eren’s speech didn’t change anything. Dreams or not, Erwin was the better asset and the logical choice. Besides, didn’t everyone have dreams?

Making up his mind, Levi faced what was rest of the Survey Corps.

“Troops, clear the area!” Levi ordered. “Erwin will turn into a Titan and eat Bertolt!”

“Let’s go, Mikasa.” Hanji said gently, lifting Mikasa up.

Jean and Connie, carrying an unconscious Sasha, followed Hanji, each saying their own farewells to their friend. Floch was last, grabbing hold of Eren and forcing him away.

“Ah…” Eren’s hand reached in Armin’s direction, a desperate please.

Levi’s face gave nothing away. After the area was clear, Levi made his way toward the limbless and unconscious Bertolt. Levi stopped in front of the Colossal Titan’s owner.

 “Salt water that stretches all the way to the horizon! There are even species of fish you can only find there!”

Armin’s voice echoed in Levi’s head and he hesitated, remembering that time, not so long ago, when he had sat outside and listened to Armin, Eren and Mikasa talk. Levi hadn’t seen them, but he had heard them, and he could clearly recall Armin’s excited tones.

“You still don’t believe me, do you? I swear it’s there! Just you wait!” Armin had said. Eren had replied with a grumpy, “Oh, fine.”

Levi picked Bertolt up and started to drag his body across the roof. Levi’s mind whirled with events from the past.

 “What happens if that dream of yours comes true?” Levi had once asked.

“Well…I don’t know. And I won’t until it does.” Erwin had replied.

That was right, Levi thought. Erwin had wanted to know what was in the basement.

“Fools, all of them…” Levi muttered, setting Bertolt down at the far end of the roof.

Erwin smiled, in that way he did, whenever his plans worked out exactly the way he had planned. “I just…want to go to that basement”

“Like little kids…the way they scream and flail.” Levi scowled and walked toward Erwin.

He thought back to Kenny, leaning against the tree and bleeding out. Kenny and his maniac grin and knowing eyes.

“They couldn’t keep going unless they were drunk on something.”

Levi knelt at Erwin’s side and lifted his arm, prepared to give him the injection. He placed the needle at the point above the crook of Erwin’s elbow and closed his eyes.

Humanity needed Erwin.

But there it was: the proclamations and vows of going to the ocean, of going beyond the walls—of freedom.

Slowly, Levi opened his eyes again.

He looked at Armin. Armin, who had dreams of seeing the ocean, and had kept that dream alive and close to his heart all these years.

 _They were all…slaves to something_.

Suddenly Erwin’s arm jerked, and Levi looked to him, startled.

Even him, Levi realized. Even Erwin had been a slave to something—to his quest for knowledge and truth.

“Teacher…how’d you find out that they don’t exist?” Erwin mumbled, and Levi froze.

“Erwin?!” Levi said, watching Erwin carefully for a reaction.

There was only painful wheezing.

“Give up on your dreams and die for us,” Levi had said, just hours earlier. “Lead the recruits straight into hell. I’ll take out the Beast Titan.”

Erwin had thrust the box at Levi and given him a relieved sort of smile, filled with gratitude. “Levi…thank you.”

And then, Levi thought of those green eyes and red hair again. Isabel…she had had a dream once, too. She had wanted freedom to live on the surface—as had Farlan. But Isabel especially—she had clung to her honest dream, with that childlike innocence unmatched by any other—except for Armin. Isabel and Armin.

Was Levi going to let another one die like that again? Levi’s hand trembled, the weight of his choice bearing down on him.

And yet there was Erwin…

But that was right: Levi had told Erwin to charge into hell. Erwin, who had been living in hell his entire life, forced there by those around him. Levi felt a great pity for his old friend, the familiar pain of Isabel and Farlan’s deaths haunting him. He wouldn’t let Erwin return to hell. Not after all he had done to finally rest. No, he _wouldn’t_ let Erwin return to hell to play the Devil.

Levi had to make a choice. And he knew what he had to do, and knew he wouldn’t regret it.

Above Levi, up in the sky, a lone bird took flight, soaring high above the walls and disappearing into the clouds.

 

 

 

 


End file.
